That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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