Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
