Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
