yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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