i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
even my farts smell like vagina
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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