Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
