Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
