I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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