This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
