I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
