Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
