Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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