He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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