I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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