apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize