Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I need moral support for this bender
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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