Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
