"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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