Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
