is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
