At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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