Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
