Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
These tits shall not be calmed
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
