i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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