I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
