Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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