I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
