im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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