There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
