If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
