And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
