Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize