I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
