How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
