whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
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