I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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