cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
