I wish I could teleport
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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