We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
