may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
