Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
