Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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