I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
