I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
