I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
