we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
