First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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