my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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