Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
God gave him joint rollers for hands
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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