dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize