Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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