we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
