How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize