I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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