found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
