Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
