but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
