A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize