i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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