Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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