Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
