i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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