Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
