I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
