So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Pooping to opera.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
