Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
