dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
