Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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