is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
